Disclaimer: This may be a sensitive issue for you. If this thread may cause you unnecessary stress, or triggers emotions that may cause you to engage in risky behaviour, please call a friend. Maybe both of you can read together. Your mental health is important…
…even to me.

Having a support system to encourage you when you aren’t strong is a miracle in this era, especially when people are becoming more and more self-absorbed. Friends, in these difficult times, act as a listening ear, shoulders to lean on, a hand to hold. Knowing that you are not alone in the struggle, in my opinion, is one of the key ingredients in overcoming suicidal thoughts.

Sometimes, however, friends hurt more than heal in these times. They say or do things that cause more harm than good, despite having good intentions. Some take the confession of suicidal thoughts as a joke, when in fact it should not be taken lightly. Sometimes, people see it as a cry for attention rather than a cry of distress. There are also occasions where persons offer advice, thinking that having clouded judgement is something that can leave instantaneously. It does not always work that way.

A sure way of getting through to a suicidal friend is understanding the person and the issue at hand. I guess it’s like Math. You won’t be able to grasp algebra unless you understand mathematical processes, letters and numbers. Not being able to understand will have you tip-toeing around the situation, slapping a band-aid on a wound that needs surgery. It will take much on your part but walking with a friend on this journey is your act of love.

Maybe you won’t understand everything all at once. Maybe you won’t understand what causes your friend to feel that way initially. However, an integral role you can play is being present. Be that person that is willing to listen and offer emotional support when your friend needs assistance. Hold your friend accountable and talk him off that ledge. Check up on her to ensure she’s doing okay, even on the good days. Show that you care, because love gets people out of the deepest holes. Remind them they are special when they desire to give up. Granted, there are days when you will not be physically there but knowing someone is present lifts the burdens.

Suicidal persons are often irritable and will seek to push people away, including those who are willing to stick around. They might think of you more as a punching bag than a sparring partner. They might even do that for a long period of time. Do not let this deter you from being patient with them and the process. It is easy to get frustrated, especially when it takes a long time to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Understand that this process requires the suicidal to retrain and rewire their thinking and perspectives of themselves and the world. Their thought processes have to be completely changed. These things take time. Remember, being patient is an act of kindness, which can cause a change at some point.

In addition to this, pray. Pray as if your life depended on it. In fact, your friend’s life does. There is so much you will be able to do and no more. It will be a difficult time. You need to pray for your friend. Pray that you will be a strong support, that you will say the right words, and the journey to a healthy mind will be a relatively short and effective one.

Very often, to the outside world, suicide is an act of selfishness, but to the suicidal, it is an act to obtain peace. They need to be reminded they need to live to honour themselves too. Your suicidal friends need you in this difficult time. Be trustworthy. Keep their secrets safe. Don’t leave them behind. Ever. Your act of love might give them a reason to breathe.

^{Photo by Donesa Trail (IG: @nessii27)}