Many folks don’t know that I loved Sesame Street. Aside from the song I carry with me from my childhood, there is this one statement that the characters said that is etched in my memory. They used to say, “Asking questions is a good way of finding something out.” As a child, I was encouraged to be a little more curious when confusion rocked my brain. However, it was not until I entered adulthood that this quote took on a whole new meaning.

It’s pretty interesting. It started to mean “I should ask for what I need or want”. It meant “I had to speak up and make my requests and thoughts known”. This “uncomfortable realization” taught me that what I needed would not necessarily be handed to me on a silver platter. After all, no human understood me and was able to read my innermost thoughts. No one could discern my desires. I would have to communicate this in a clear and succinct manner. But here’s the catch. I had to be brave despite hearing the fearful trembles in my voice and knowing that rejection might be at the end of my request. I’m slowly learning to be okay with this…

…and I figure that you, my reader, might struggle with this sometimes, and for varied reasons. Probably you may not ask a loved one to stick around on a bad day because you don’t want to be a bother. Probably you don’t want to ask for a salary increase from your employer because you don’t want to seem greedy or selfish. It’s a possibility you don’t want to ask your partner for a gift because you may have unrealistic expectations of what a relationship is supposed to be. But, if you have a need to be met, please, just ask. There is nothing to be ashamed of. While there is much difficulty when dealing with humans, we have to remember they are just that – humans. There’s no use in always beating around the bush and dropping hints. People are generally oblivious to the desires of others. We just have to ask and allow them to give a response.

It’s important to note though, that we should not have an attitude of entitlement. No one owes us anything. In fact, we are making requests and must do so with humility. So, here’s my unsolicited advice: mind your tone and mind your words. Be firm but not confrontational. Be respectful. Be open to whatever the outcome may be, because we might not always get what we desire. Opt to have a gracious and grateful spirit regardless of what happens. Don’t forget to pay attention to your context as what works for a loved one may not work for a coworker. 

No matter what comes, let the narrative be: “I was courageous”. We must always flex that muscle and ask for what we want because this is how we learn and grow. Disappointments will come. Joys are also for the taking. Who knows? Maybe there is something more beautiful than we could ever imagine on the other side of just asking.

^{Photo by Anna Might (IG:@annamighttakepics)}