Like on any normal day, a text notification came in. This time, it was Shaun*. We met a few years back at some function we both attended. We used to talk every once in a while, but up to this point, we had not spoken for a few months. The last time we had a conversation, he was struggling with some issues. Like the friend that I am, I reached out, offered tangible assistance, encouraged him, and prayed. At that time, I figured something was off and I smelled a proverbial rat. I just never knew what it was. A few days after that ordeal, Shaun* posted all over his socials that no one cares about him. Of course, I got in my head and asked myself, “Didn’t I just go out of my way to help you?” It was at this point my desire to help Shaun* was becoming non-existent. My heart rivaled polar ice caps.

So, why did you message my phone, Shaun*? You don’t check on me. He was asking for some tangible help. The request was simple enough. I assisted. Less than five minutes later, he sent another message. He wanted me to repeat the act. 

Wait. What? WHAT?! Didn’t I just send you $1000*, Shaun*? You asked. I delivered. Why are you even asking me for more money? It’s clear to me that you are just an opportunist, ready and willing to take advantage of my kindness. I am only here for your own convenience. It’s sickening. It’s saddening. It’s selfish. People who act like this are similar to parasites. Are you one, Shaun*?

Reader, are you one? Do you keep people around when it is convenient?

“Friends” who only contact others for their own benefit are not good friends at all. One of my favourite rappers, Andy Mineo, penned it best in his song “Friends”:

“You only call me when you need something
When you want a little free something
That’s not what friends do, alright, who are you?”

People are not here in this life for our own bidding. They should be valued and treasured, not used and disposed of as trash. It’s always the kind, soft-hearted ones who get duped. It’s as if these deceivers play on the emotions of others, knowing ways and means to manipulate folks to get what they want. If you put your foot down and say no, you become the villain in their story. Self-centeredness runs rampant in this world. These occurrences often tempt innocent people to regret being generous and compassionate. Hearts get hardened. Ears get deaf to the cries of those who really need assistance. Eyes closed off from seeing the issues in the world. No hand offered to help. This becomes more problematic if thousands of persons decide they will not be a beacon of light in this world. 

If you have been a victim of being played, please don’t close your heart. I know it is easier said than done. Think of these negative acts as lessons. Let it teach you that not everyone in this life means you well and has your best interest at heart. Let it show you that boundaries are important for us to have a wholesome life. Say “no” when you need to. Put your foot down. Never let your heart of love and joy be agonized by snakes in society. Give and forgive. However, be wise. Don’t let them take you for a fool. 

* – names and situations were changed for the blog

^{Photo by Akeil Harris (IG: @robby_.photos)}