For many, including me, 2020 has been a difficult year. We are bombarded by many heart-rending issues that seem to come one right after the other. When we learn to cope in a situation, something pops up, derailing the coping plan completely. What to do? We are forced to take whatever jabs that come our way.
Some of us take those jabs better than others. Some people seek comfort by a bottle, some seek friends. One thing is true though: we attempt to cope because we all hurt. I mean, a life without trouble cannot be found here on earth. No human is exempt.
There are some who downplay the anguish of others. This gives the victims an unwritten license to bottle up every heartache. They are shot down by individuals they should feel safe with, just for sharing their feelings. They are silenced and at some point, the silence will be deafening. This gives way to mental and emotional issues.
I hate when that happens to me…
It is as if I am being told that my feelings are not valid. My pain is minute, and possibly placed in comparison to others. I am indirectly being told to “shut up” for there is no space to feel despair, even as a Christian. Especially as a Christian. I was once told that I should not speak ill of a subject matter because of my Christian convictions. I should give hope to the hopeless. But what if the hope dealer feels hopeless too? Isn’t it best to grieve? It is not illegal to be in anguish. In fact, it is a part of human nature.
John 11:1-44 outlines a remarkably interesting story. Jesus Christ, who was fully God, cried when His friend Lazarus died. Scripture indicates that He knew that God’s glory would be revealed through this situation. However, he still cried. He was deeply moved and troubled. Jesus felt pain. Jesus wept. Period.
If the Lord and Saviour grieved, then why should we bottle up our pain? I posit to you that some of the bad habits that some people now have are because of bottled up emotions. There should be a space for our tears and concerns. There should be a space for folks to vent and be at peace. And that is okay. Grieving should not be misinterpreted as doubt, complaint or weakness. It should, however, be viewed as a form of therapy and strength.
If you downplay the hurt of others, please desist. You will only make matters worse. Instead, offer a safe space for persons to share. You do not have to find a solution. Just be present and be prayerful.
To those who hurt: grieve. We do not need anyone’s permission or directive to tell us how we feel, because we feel it. We are the ones hurting. I do recommend though that we all engage in constructive, sustainable coping mechanisms. There is life and hope beyond the pain. I promise.
Photo by “Joel” Tucker (IG: @jo_media_)