With the advent of “tolerance and the freedom of expression”, expletives (or bad words) are used more in today’s age than when my parents were children. If they mentioned certain terms, they would be meted with a severe form of punishment. Most times, these words are used to state displeasure at circumstances. These days people say what they want to say when they want to say it. 

While many shy away from using expletives, they still use bad words. Their speech is used as a weapon of destruction. Words do not directly have the power to break bones as physical weapons do. However, they have the ability to crush the spirits of individuals. Too often, we break and hurt people because of what stems from our mouths.

In 2017, I was unable to do much physical activity because for the majority of the year I was struggling with my health. Every step forward I made health-wise was encountered with a step back. During that time, I was constantly reminded by random people that I was gaining weight. For a while, that infuriated me.

Subtly, I was being told my weight gain was as a result of eating too much, which was far from the truth. Truth was, they had no idea what kind of year I was having. How could I work out when I was sick all the time? I’m not sure how my weight became their problem. Apparently, it did…

When I got over being angry, I resolved not to care. I owed them no explanation. They weren’t the ones up with me in the middle of the night when pains were plaguing my body, nor paying for my medication.

I simply stopped paying them attention…

This whole episode made me realize that somehow, we have developed the “right” of passing judgement on others, especially when we are fully unaware of the situation that individuals have found themselves in. Many persons are unfairly treated or teased because persons fail to see their context and effort. When did that become okay?

Maybe a “fat guy” eats himself to a frazzle because he has an eating disorder and needs help, not because he is greedy. Maybe the “anti-social” girl chooses to stay indoors because she struggles with social anxiety, not because she hates people. That child who struggles in school should not be called an idiot because he might just have a learning difficulty. Someone who has done surgery on his/her face because of an injury is still beautiful and should not be mocked.

Instead of being so unkind and uncaring in our speech, we need to use words and build up people. There are too many persons walking around with heads down because that’s the state of their hearts. They often feel helpless and hopeless. We need to show each other some grace. Treat others how you want to be treated. Heal people with your words. After all, wouldn’t we want people to be kind to us if we were walking in the shoes of the defeated?  

^{Photo by “Joel” Tucker (IG: @jo_media_)}